


the spn group chat au nobody asked for

by Anonymous



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adam Milligan is Not a Winchester, Alternate Universe - High School, Don't Ask, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone ships Destiel, F/F, Group chat, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Mutual Pining, No Plot/Plotless, THIS SHOW ISNT CALLED "SUPERNATURAL" JUST SO I CAN IGNORE THE SUPERNATURAL FOR THE SAKE OF A FANFIC, What Have I Done, everyone is human except michael, i'm so sorry in advance, jack is a blunt, michael is a spirit??, or bi or whatever but theres no damn heteros here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:40:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29157534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Gabriel makes a group chat and it all goes downhill from there.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury/Hannah (Supernatural), Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Michael/Adam Milligan, other ones i havent thought too much abt yet lmao
Comments: 9
Kudos: 61
Collections: Anonymous





	1. internalized homophobia

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry in advance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> characters in order of appearance: 
> 
> 1 - gabriel, lucifer, sam, dean, castiel  
> 3 - adam, michael

**_THEE trickster_ ** _has invited **impala67** , **king of the bees** , **a literal legend** , and **lawboy** to the chat! _

impala67: so help me god if i dont get a good explanation for this in 2.5 seconds im going to commit a murder 

THEE trickster: its good to spend time with ur friends deanie dont be like that 

impala67: i hate you. 

impala67: so who else has to suffer with me

king of the bees: me 

impala67: hi cas :) 

king of the bees: hi dean :) 

THEE trickster: i am deeply regretting all of my life choices 

impala67: as you should 

lawboy: hi

impala67: hi sam 

lawboy: howd u know it was me?? 

impala67: type correctly first off 

impala67: second who do we know thats studying to be a lawboy 

lawboy: that is not a career dean 

impala67: fuck off bitch 

lawboy: jerk 

king of the bees: dean behave 

impala67: :( 

a literal legend: WHO HATH SUMMONED ME FROM THE PIT 

impala67: its felony time 

a literal legend: :( 

a literal legend: i thought u would b happy to see me deano 

a literal legend: i sold u weed i thought we were friends 

THEE trickster: LUCIFER 

THEE trickster: we are FAMILY and U WOULDNT SELL ME ANY 

impala67: im special like that 

king of the bees: lucifer sold you weed? 

impala67: yes......

king of the bees: dean you are already two steps from becoming a high-functioning alcoholic you do not need drugs too 

impala67: cas if im dying young im going out swinging

king of the bees: dean. 

impala67: youre not my dad

THEE trickster: thank god bc that would be weird

a literal legend: yknow with the whole pining from a distance thing u got goin on 

lawboy: this is the only time i will ever agree w lucifer 

a literal legend: aw bb sam 

lawboy: i will cut u 

a literal legend: oh calm down im not going to motorboat u thats gabriels job 

THEE trickster: i have science with u next period luci i hope were not dissecting anything 

impala67: who would let u within five feet of a knife gabe 

THEE trickster: u would b surprised 

lawboy: sweet god 

a literal legend: god cant save u now >:) 

king of the bees: what is motorboating?

impala67: lucifer gabriel sam dont u dare say a word

king of the bees: why not?? 

a literal legend: cassie has a right to know 

impala67: NO HE DOESNT

king of the bees: tell me

THEE trickster: see i dont exactly wanna incur deans wrath 

lawboy: ooh yeah thats not a pretty sight

a literal legend: im named after satan i can handle it

impala67: no you cant lucifer trust me i will put the fear of god into u

THEE trickster: ;))) kinky

a literal legend: who wants to get motorboated now dean 

impala67: i dont get motorboated i motorboat

lawboy: im sorry dean but no one believes that

THEE trickster: u can just smell it on some ppl and u do not smell like a top to me

impala67: why were you SNIFFING ME GABE 

impala67: THATS WEIRD

a literal legend: ur a bottom bitch dean winchester u cant run from urself 

impala67: BACK TO THE MAIN POINT 

impala67: I TOP AND I TOP WOMEN OKAY THATS IT 

a literal legend: puh-LEASE u r fooling NO ONE

lawboy: usually this convo would disgust me but im sick of deans shit so lets gooo 

impala67: oh fuck you 

lawboy: thats cas' job

THEE trickster: OHHHHHHH

a literal legend: HE SNAPPED !!!!! 

king of the bees: i hate to break up this lovely conversation but

impala67: god pls do 

king of the bees: i may or may not have a situation on my hand 

impala67: where are you 

king of the bees: stairs up to the second floor 

THEE trickster: annnnnd he bolted right out of class 

a literal legend: someone tell me why they arent dating yet 

_lawboy renamed the chat **internalized homophobia**! _

a literal legend: well that explains a lot 

THEE trickster: im following him 

THEE trickster: HOLY SHIT 

THEE trickster: SOME GUYS WERE MESSING WITH CASSIE AND DEAN JUMPED THEM 

lawboy: by himself?? 

THEE trickster: oh its all under control he went all incredible hulk on them and now three people are on the floor 

lawboy: good for u dean 

lawboy: cas r u ok? 

king of the bees: yes 

king of the bees: thank you, dean 

impala67: yeah well if they try anything else you call me and ill take care of them 

a literal legend: by which he means he'll knock them tf out 

impala67: yes 

THEE trickster: well lads thats enough emotional turmoil for today dont u think 


	2. no piss talk in the chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i thought i was SO funny making sam's name "lawboy" and if ur on heller tumblr u will know why ;)

king of the bees: gabriel don't you think thats enough candy 

THEE trickster: no

a literal legend: the saga continues 

king of the bees: gabriel its not healthy 

THEE trickster: cassie i dont think u get it

THEE trickster: the sooner i kick the bucket the better 

impala67: mood 

king of the bees: dean no :( 

impala67: ... 

king of the bees: :(( 

impala67: fine ill talk about my existential dread elsewhere 

king of the bees: dean.

impala67: what 

king of the bees: youre my best friend. if you arent feeling good or you need someone to talk to im always here for you 

THEE trickster: *whispering* aw luci theyre having a moment 

a literal legend: *whispering* aw gabey they should fuck 

impala67: whispering doesnt work in a GROUP CHAT dumbasses 

THEE trickster: it WOULD if u just pretended we werent here 

a literal legend: ya damn killjoy 

impala67: shut up 

impala67: and...

impala67: thanks cas 

king of the bees: :) youre welcome dean

a literal legend: *whispering* awww cassie 

lawboy: what r yall blowing up my phone for this time 

a literal legend: destiel is having a moment 

lawboy: oh

impala67: who

THEE trickster: nice to see u with us sammich 

THEE trickster: and dean its u and cas but ur like inseparable and we ship u so destiel

lawboy: makes sense 

impala67: no it doesnt 

king of the bees: it sort of does 

impala67: dammit cas

impala67: take one for the team man 

lawboy: how do u pronounce destiel 

a literal legend: idk about the rest of u but des like desk and then tiel like castiel 

lawboy: wouldnt it be DEE-stiel 

impala67: i hope u get run over by a bus 

THEE trickster: nah it doesnt have the same ring to it

lawboy: yeah ur right :/ 

THEE trickster: cheer up sammy ill buy u fruit snacks 

lawboy: :0

lawboy: u fought dean for fruit snacks that HE bought whats the catch

THEE trickster: because hes a thieving dickweed who doesnt deserve any

THEE trickster: no catch 

impala67: IM the thieving dickweed??? 

impala67: you robbed a 7-11 two weeks ago gabe dont be throwing stones in ur glass house 

a literal legend: ooh hes got u there 

THEE trickster: shut up all of u 

THEE trickster: last offer for fruit snacks sam-i-am 

lawboy: u know what sure 

impala67: gabriel

THEE trickster: yes deano

impala67: hurt my brother and i will rip off ur dick and force feed it to you 

THEE trickster: dean

THEE trickster: i wont 

lawboy: ... 

impala67: not now sam

THEE trickster: i could say the same about u and cassie 

king of the bees: gabriel no violence 

THEE trickster: not now cas 

impala: i wont 

THEE trickster: good 

THEE trickster: anyway none of u r invited to my fruit snack palooza with sammich so fuck off 

a literal legend: nobody wants to sit in on ur date gabe go away 

a literal legend: why dont u just piss in a circle around him huh 

king of the bees: lucifer stop it 

impala67: EW 

impala67: EW EW EW

impala67: HOW DARE

impala67: NO PISS TALK IN THE CHAT 

a literal legend: SHUT UP WITH YOUR BOTTOM SELF 

impala67: LUCIFER I WILL THROW YOU DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS 

a literal legend: i like pain ;)) 

lawboy: guys no 

king of the bees: is this really necessary 

impala67: NO 

a literal legend: eh id argue that it is


	3. sadly i only have one ass

lawboy: alright i know ONE of u did this fess up

THEE trickster: why sammy boy what could u possibly b referring to 

lawboy: the loudspeakers are blaring "telephone" by lady gaga and beyonce and i dont think its on purpose 

impala67: see sam u say ur straight and then u know stuff like this

impala67: makes me wonder 

THEE trickster: anyone with some goddamn class would know this song dean 

THEE trickster: thats why u dont 

impala67: excuse you i have class 

a literal legend: where 

impala67: um who asked you

a literal legend: um this is a group chat 

a literal legend: its public record 

lawboy: that literally is not what public record is 

a literal legend: WHOSE SIDE ARE U ON??? 

THEE trickster: I SHOULD HAVE LEFT MY PHONE AT HOME CAUSE THIS IS A DISASTER 

king of the bees: this is an enjoyable song 

THEE trickster: hey hey loosen up cas 

THEE trickster: we should get u on weed 

impala67: nOOOOO you SHOULD NOT 

a literal legend: are we just ignoring the fact that cassie likes lady gaga 

king of the bees: i like "judas" 

a literal legend: ASKJHSAHSKJAHKJA

THEE trickster: C A S 

lawboy: that is the best thing ive ever heard 

a literal legend: gabe rig it up 

THEE trickster: done 

lawboy: see i KNEW it was one of ur asses

THEE trickster: sadly samzilla i only have one ass 

THEE trickster: it is the best ass around tho 

impala67: gabe um 

THEE trickster: excuse me what was that 

THEE trickster: i dont consort with heteros 

king of the bees: gabriel the building is shaking 

THEE trickster: ididntdoit 

a literal legend: hm so convincing 

THEE trickster: i didnt!! literally i locked principal shurley out of his office so i could play lady gaga for me n cas i did not set a bomb or smth 

impala67: omg the ground is vibrating i can see it

impala67: wtf were going to die here!! 

lawboy: i forgot all my prayers fuckkkk 

lawboy: gods not gonna take us!! 

impala67: THATS your concern??? 

lawboy: i have come to terms that i might die here 

THEE trickster: ill protect u samalam 

lawboy: i dont think u can protect against EARTHQUAKES 

THEE trickster: luci cmere were gonna stop the earthquake 

a literal legend: aight where 

THEE trickster: earthquakes happen underground right

a literal legend: right 

THEE trickster: the basement then 

a literal legend: sounds pog to me lets go 

king of the bees: gabriel lucifer no do not 

THEE trickster: did u say we should?? omg luci lets go 

a literal legend: hell yeah brb 

impala67: he just got up and left the room!!!!!!

lawboy: maybe i made a mistake 

lawboy: maybe WE wont be the dead ones today 

THEE trickster: alright yall im gonna show u whats up 

**_THEE trickster_ ** _has started a video call!_

_[We see most of GABRIEL's face, as he's holding his phone in front of him. The camera is shaking because he's running, and the video is grainy.]_

GABRIEL: So Luci and I- here he is, by the way- 

_[GABRIEL turns the camera to the side to show LUCIFER, who's running alongside him.]_

LUCIFER: Hey. 

_[The camera turns back to GABRIEL.]_

GABRIEL: We're getting closer, I can tell. It's shaking more now. 

LUCIFER: That can't be good. 

GABRIEL: Depends on your definition of 'good'. Maybe we get out of school! 

LUCIFER: _[He clicks his tongue.]_ Yeah. Can't go to school if your school fell the fuck down, can you? 

GABRIEL: _[Laughing.]_ Nope! 

_[CASTIEL joins the call, keeping his video off.]_

CASTIEL: Gabriel, you should go back. It's not safe down there. 

GABRIEL: Where's the fun in that? 

CASTIEL: Gabriel, please. 

GABRIEL: Nothing's gonna happen, Cassie. You'll see, it's just an earthquake. 

_[DEAN and SAM join the call. DEAN turns his video on- he's running down a hallway as well. SAM keeps his off.]_

CASTIEL: Dean. What are you doing? Don't you have class? 

DEAN: _[He's out of breath.]_ It's just homeroom, Cas, no one cares. Hey, Gabe! 

GABRIEL: _[Turns around.]_ Dean! Decided to hop on the bandwagon, did ya? 

DEAN: You bet. I'm not missing this. 

SAM: Fighting words from someone who was screeching about how we were all going to die five minutes ago. 

DEAN: I wasn't screeching.

SAM: Then explain 'Oh my god, the school's going to collapse around us and we're going to be buried under six feet of rubble!' _[He says this in a high-pitched, squeaky manner that could, in fact, qualify as a 'screech'_ _.]_

DEAN: Oh, fuck you, okay? That is not how I sound-

GABRIEL: Focus, team! _[He turns his camera around to face the hallway in front of him. At the end of the hallway there's an empty classroom that has the shade down and the door shut. However, it also has bright white light coming from below the door.]_ Holy shit! Look at that! 

LUCIFER: Oh, that looks so suspicious. 

_[We see GABRIEL try to open the door, but it's locked. Then we see his fist pounding on the door_ _.]_

DEAN: Someone's in there, man, they're screaming! 

GABRIEL: How the hell are we gonna get in there? 

CASTIEL: Gabriel, Dean- don't! 

LUCIFER: Aw, Cas, you didn't even mention me. _[There's a sudden, loud BANG! as LUCIFER kicks the door open. The light is everywhere, completely obscuring anything else GABRIEL's camera might have captured. A young man's voice can be heard, but it's just wordless screaming.]_

DEAN: Kid! Hey, kid! 

SAM: What the hell is going on down there? I'm coming! 

LUCIFER: _[Weakly]_ That's what she said. 

CASTIEL: Wait for me, Sam, you're not going alone. 

SAM: I'm right outside your homeroom, Cas. 

YOUNG MAN: _[More screaming.]_

DEAN: _[Presumably shouting at the other student:]_ Shut off the damn light, would you? 

GABRIEL: Screw it! I'm going in. 

SAM: Gabriel, don't you fucking dare. 

GABRIEL: Don't worry, Sam, I- _[He is cut off by the light going out. We can hear LUCIFER and DEAN cursing quietly in the background.]_ Hey, who's in there? 

_[LUCIFER walks into the room ahead of GABRIEL and DEAN. SAM and CASTIEL approach, with CASTIEL trying to talk to DEAN. Everyone follows LUCIFER inside, where GABRIEL pans the camera about the room. We see all of the desks in the classroom shoved to one side or the other of the room, a circle with strange sigils marked on the floor in what is possibly black permanent marker, and an old book sitting in front of the circle. The YOUNG MAN is collapsed on the floor nearby, and upon closer inspection by DEAN, is identified as ADAM MILLIGAN, another student.]_

GABRIEL: Milligan? What the hell, kid? 

ADAM: _[He scoots away from DEAN and GABRIEL, clearly panicked, watching something behind and to the left of them.]_ W-watch it! 

_[GABRIEL turns the camera where he and the others see a MAN standing in the circle. He is pretty much a carbon copy of ADAM, and he looks very, very pissed off.] _

SAM: _[To the MAN, looking between him and ADAM]_ Adam? What- 

MAN: _[Interrupts SAM]_ I am not him. 

DEAN: Well, there are two of you, dude, so. 

MAN: _[Glaring at the six of them]_ I am Michael. I am a spirit. 

_[GABRIEL, DEAN, and LUCIFER exchange confused looks. ADAM has his eyes closed tightly, and CASTIEL and SAM are staring at MICHAEL.]_

DEAN: _[Looks at ADAM]_ Did you... did you do this? How'd he get in here? 

ADAM: _[Eyes still closed]_ I... I did. I wasn't- I didn't mean to summon him, but- 

MICHAEL: But you did. _[He closes his eyes and audibly exhales.]_ Did you even read the spell? My name isn't even in it. 

LUCIFER: _[Snorts]_ Kids these days. 

_[GABRIEL looks over, expression vaguely saying 'what the fuck is wrong with you?']_

LUCIFER: _[Shrugs]_ What? They're all fuckin' illiterate. 

GABRIEL: You're illiterate. 

SAM: Guys? Now's not the time? 

MICHAEL: Who are you? 

CASTIEL: I'm Castiel. _[Points to everyone in turn]_ That's Dean, Sam, Gabriel, and Lucifer. And that's Adam. _[He points to ADAM, who is still on the floor, albeit sitting up.]_

LUCIFER: _[Peeks out the door]_ Um, guys? We might want to take off. I hear security coming this way. 

DEAN: Yeah. This is going to be hard to explain. 

GABRIEL: _[Pushing the other four to the door and hauling Adam up from the floor.]_ Not if we're not here when they come. _[Looks back at MICHAEL]_

SAM: Yeah, what are we going to do about- 

MICHAEL: _[Steps out of the circle.]_ Lead the way. 

DEAN: Well, alright then. Back door's that way- _[He points to a set of double doors just up the hallway.]_ Let's beat it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0.0


	4. assault with a deadly chair

THEE trickster: IM NEVER DOING CRACK AGAIN ADRENALINE IS THE SHIT TO BE ON 

lawboy: u did crack?? 

lawboy: nvm ofc u did 

a literal legend: so did i ;))

lawboy: anyway we should probably get adam in here

impala67: what were not going to talk abt that?? 

impala67: adam summoned a friggin DEMON 

THEE trickster: hes a spirit dean be respectful 

**_THEE trickster_ ** _invited **milligram** to the chat! _

milligram: whomst 

lawboy: hi adam 

milligram: sam?? 

a literal legend: howd u know 

milligram: who else is a lawboy huh 

a literal legend: tru tru 

king of the bees: i'm castiel, impala67 is dean, trickster is gabriel, legend is lucifer, and lawboy is sam 

milligram: ty 

impala67: well this is fucking fantastic 

impala67: pls dont tell me the spirit is loose 

milligram: idk he just disappeared like five seconds ago 

impala67: dammit 

a literal legend: wtf was that even whyd u try to summon smth 

milligram: i was TRYING to prove to rowena that witchcraft is bs and it went sideways 

lawboy: rowena?? like rowena macleod?? she cursed some dude to never have a sharpened pencil and now he writes in pen 

milligram: so?? fear tactics 

lawboy: no every pencil he has is dull or breaks immediately when he sharpens it 

THEE trickster: she puts fear in my heart 

a literal legend: yeahhh not someone id fuck w

milligram: look i KNOW i fucked up but idk what to do like hes gone dudes 

lawboy: jfc 

impala67: so we have a random spirit roaming the halls 

THEE trickster: the HALLS?? shit he could be anywhere by now

impala67: thank u gabe so helpful 

a literal legend: look hes gone lets just pretend it didnt happen 

king of the bees: ... yeah true he disappeared so he isn't bothering us so 

lawboy: i gotta know what happened in there tho before lucifer kicked down the door 

milligram: well i said the summoning thing

milligram: fucked it up apparently 

milligram: the dude just SHOWED UP and said something along the lines of "wtf r u doing" and smth weird in another language and then started to glow 

milligram: then yall came 

a literal legend: came ;)) 

milligram: no 

lawboy: well this is not how i imagined my tuesday going 

impala67: you and me both 

a literal legend: ok well i hate to be the voice of reason but we just ditched school what r we doing now

THEE trickster: adam where r u

milligram: ditching school lmao

milligram: im at a dennys 

impala67: the dennys off 4th? 

milligram: yeah

lawboy: start the car 

impala67: on it

THEE trickster: this car is NOT big enough for all of us 

impala67: oh shut up i put sam in the back you owe me

THEE trickster: ... 

THEE trickster: yeah ig so 

impala67: exactly 

king of the bees: wait lucifer doesnt have his seatbelt on

impala67: too damn bad

lawboy: JESUS CAN YOU NOT DRIVE LIKE A CRAZY PERSON 

THEE trickster: ARE U KIDDING GO FASTER DEAN 

a literal legend: BURN RUBBER 

lawboy: MAYBE NOT THIS MUCH RUBBER DEAN SLOW DO W N

impala67: SHUT UP WERE ALREADY HERE 

a literal legend: EVERYBODY OUT 

king of the bees: gabriel please be careful you almost fell 

THEE trickster: NO I WANNA SEE THE DEMON 

milligram: HES NOT HERE 

impala67: well you better hope he comes tf back bc im not going looking for him 

milligram: maybe its better if hes gone?? 

a literal legend: shut up and go inside i want fries 

lawboy: do they even have those at dennys 

THEE trickster: r u livin in a fantasy world?? ofc dennys has fries

lawboy: idk ive never been here

THEE trickster: GASP 

milligram: ur causing a scene pls sit down 

impala67: ohhhh im gonna cause even MORE of a scene

king of the bees: dean no

lawboy: whats going on

impala67: the fuckers i kicked down the stairs r here

king of the bees: please dont dean 

impala67: if they try anything im poppin off 

THEE trickster: just siddown would u 

milligram: so yeah i havent seen him since right after we ditched 

a literal legend: good riddance i say 

milligram: thats mean 

a literal legend: i *am* mean 

THEE trickster: can confirm 

impala67: WHOEVER THREW THAT FRY 

THEE trickster: UR MOMS A HOE 

impala67: not what i was gonna say but close enough 

impala67: these assholes 

king of the bees: turn back around dont pay them any attention thats what they want 

impala67: they WANT a broken nose apparently 

a literal legend: yas dean get em 

lawboy: HE JUMPED OVER THE BACK OF THE BOOTH SJKAHAJSHAKJSAS 

a literal legend: OH FUCK YEAH 

king of the bees: STOP THROWING FOOD LUCIFER 

milligram: its for a good cause 

milligram: brb getting involved 

THEE trickster: i cant believe this is happening but aye im in 

lawboy: so dean is rolling on the floor with the biggest dude, luci is throwing fries and yelling, adam is trying to fight someone but they dont really want to so hes just talking shit abt their mom, and gabe has picked up a chair and is threatening to beat someone with it

lawboy: all in a days work ig 

THEE trickster: IM ARMED 

lawboy: with a chair?? 

THEE trickster: ASSAULT WITH A DEADLY CHAIR 

milligram: FUCKING OW HOLY SHIT 

milligram: IG THE GUY RLLY DID WANNA HIT ME OW FUCK MY NOSE 

impala67: THERE IS BLOOD EVERYWHERE 

THEE trickster: DEAN BEHIND U 

THEE trickster: NVM I HIT HIM WITH THE CHAIR 

a literal legend: THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE 

king of the bees: THE GUY AT THE REGISTER IS ON THE PHONE I THINK HES CALLING THE COPS 

milligram: FUCK RUN 

a literal legend: IM OUT OF FRIES LETS GO 

lawboy: i now hate dennys 

impala67: I SMACKED A PHONE OUTTA SOMEONES HAND THEY WERE TRYNA RECORD 

milligram: WHO CARES LETS GO BEFORE THE COPS SHOW UP 

a literal legend: WELL DENNYS ITS BEEN LOVELY BUT WE GOTTA GO 

king of the bees: why did you shout it?? 

a literal legend: im a literal legend ofc 

lawboy: JUST GET IN THE CAR 

milligram: wait where do i sit?? 

impala67: ON LUCIFERS LAP. IDC. IM STARTING THIS CAR AND IF UR NOT IN IT UR NOT COMING 

a literal legend: ;)) 

milligram: FINE 

king of the bees: so where to now, a hospital? :) 


	5. ADAMS DEMON IS IN THIS CAR

THEE trickster: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

THEE trickster: WHAT THE FUCK 

impala67: DONT YOU DARE TELL ME ADAMS DEMON IS IN THIS CAR!!! 

milligram: HE IS

a literal legend: gabe stop screaming 

THEE trickster: NO

michael: Stop screaming. 

impala67: what the shit. 

king of the bees: how did he get into the chat?? 

michael: I have magic. It isn't difficult. 

a literal legend: adam is that u crossing urself?? 

milligram: hailmaryfullofgrace

impala67: we r going to my house ok and when we get there i am going to kick this things ass 

michael: Adam, you're bleeding. 

a literal legend: wow what an observation omg 

milligram: shut up luci yes i am

michael: Here, let me. 

impala67: DONT touch him mike or you will FEEL MY WRATH 

michael: Your wrath? 

impala67: i will pull over 

milligram: WHOA okay mr wandering fingers what r u doing rn 

michael: I was going to heal you. 

THEE trickster: you can do that?? 

michael: Simple magic. 

a literal legend: do it do it do it!!! i wanna seeeeeeeee 

king of the bees: stop bouncing lucifer, you literal child 

**_THEE trickster_ ** _changed **a literal legend** 's name! _

a literal child: okay fuck u gabriel 

milligram: hOLY SHIT 

milligram: MY NOSE ITS FIXED 

a literal child: except for all the blood on ur face it looks fine 

michael: There. 

a literal child: and now thats gone too

michael: Adam was the one who summoned me. We share a bond now, so it's my job to protect him. 

impala67: im pulling over. wth 

king of the bees: we're on the freeway dean keep driving 

lawboy: the hell do u mean "a bond"?? 

michael: A bond. Since Adam didn't send me back, I'm tied to him until he releases me from it or sends me back. 

impala67: adam you dumb shit. 

milligram: listen asshole its not my fault!! the book didnt say jack about sending it BACK 

milligram: plus i wasnt even trying to summon HIM so !!! 

milligram: literally not my fault!! 

michael: You summoned me. So technically this is your fault. 

milligan: okay WOW fuck u dude 

impala67: dudes got a point 

milligram: screw all of u tbh 

michael: Adam, don't. 

king of the bees: HE DID 

THEE trickster: HE JUMEPD OUT OF HTE CAR???? 

a literal child: POP THE SUNROOF DEAN I CAN GET HIM 

impala67: THERES NO DAMN SUNROFF LUCIFER NO 

_**a literal child** renamed the chat **theres no damn sunroff**_

impala67: oh go fuck yourself 

a literal child: if u say so bb ;) 

king of the bees: can we focus please

lawboy: adam jUMPED OUT OF THE M O V I N G CAR ONTO THE FREEWAY 

THEE trickster: I GOT THIS 

impala67: GABRIEL YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKER 

impala67: HE JUMPED TOO 

lawboy: so help me god gabe 

THEE trickster: OW 

milligram: whyd u jump too?? 

THEE trickster: idk

THEE trickster: now that ive done it it seems kinda stupid 

milligram: yeah no shit 

lawboy: everyone shut up 

lawboy: michael can u get them back in here?

michael: Yes. 

milligram: fucking EXCUSE ME 

milligram: when did i ask 

michael: You didn't. 

milligram: yeah no shit sherlock!! 

milligram: let me walk in peace 

michael: Where you could get hit by a car? No. 

milligram: u get no say in this 

lawboy: then i do, and i say ur not getting out of this car 

milligram: too bad bitch 

THEE trickster: omfg this man 

a literal child: this is the funniest shit ive ever witnessed 

michael: Get back in the car. 

milligram: !!!! 

michael: Dean, lock the doors. 

impala67: adam when we get to my place we are going to have a talk about not jumping out of cars

impala67: specifically MY car

milligram: none of u fuckers tell me what to do 

a literal child: something tells me ur upset addie 

milligram: addie?? 

a literal child: whatever 

a literal child: tell me whats bothering u child 

milligram: fuck all of u 

king of the bees: adam whats wrong 

milligram: its stupid that u even have to ask!! assholes!! 

impala67: everybody out we're here

lawboy: adam come on, whats up 

lawboy: u jumped out of the car twice and u seem pissed 

milligram: the hell does it matter huh 

milligram: and for the fucking record michael im not fucking thrilled abt our situation either so 

_**milligram** has left the chat! _

THEE trickster: well that went well 

lawboy: that was kinda shitty of u guys 

impala67: wh??? 

king of the bees: sam has a point

lawboy: THANK u cas 

king of the bees: its obvious adam didnt mean to summon michael 

king of the bees: he summoned him accidentally and then found out about whatever bond they have now right after its a lot to process 

impala67: so he jumped out of my car?? 

a literal child: nearest exits u kno?? 

a literal child: i agree w sam n cas tho that was r00d 

**_a literal child_ ** _has invited **milligram** to the chat! _

milligram: wtf why luci 

milligram: not that like i dont appreciate it or whatever 

milligram: but why 

a literal child: well SOMEONE has to smoke with me

THEE trickster: i smoke with u u ass 

a literal child: yeah yeah u too 

milligram: is it the good stuff? 

a literal child: im surprised u even have to ask 

a literal child: ofc it is

lawboy: getting high is not the way to fix this guys 

milligram: on the contrary sam i think it is 


	6. so ends my ghostfucking fantasies

lawboy: well this is going just swimmingly 

a literal child: HA

a literal child: whO eve nSAY S sWimmginly anymroe??? 

lawboy: shut up u dropped ur blunt and now ur crying over it

milligram: SHUT UP youre interrupting the funeral 

michael: You're holding a funeral for a blunt? 

milligram: YOU dont even know what a blunt IS so can it

THEE trickster: A MOMENT OF SILENCE PLEASE 

impala67: ... 

impala67: this is stupid 

THEE trickster: SILENCE 

king of the bees: lucifer is mumbling 

THEE trickster: it was his blunt he can grieve any way he chooses

a literal child: u were gone too soon 

lawboy: u can always get another one?? 

a literal child: ITS NTO TE SAME SAM 

a literal child: IT WS A MY BLUTN 

a literal child: I WAS REPSONISBLE FOR IT

a literal child: AND IT IDED BECAUSE OF ME

THEE trickster: there there luci its okay 

milligram: yeah shhhh were here for u

michael: Are blunts incredibly important to you humans? 

impala67: no theyre just being stupid and high 

lawboy: lucifer cries when hes high, gabe gets philosophical and adam gets angry 

impala67: this is the first time youve seen adam high how do u know that

lawboy: this is not the first time ive seen adam high 

impala67: O.O

impala67: SAM 

lawboy: i didnt get high with him!! 

impala67: YOU BETTER NOT HAVE 

impala67: I SURE AS SHIT DIDNT RAISE A STONER 

lawboy: says the high functioning alcoholic 

impala67: shut up im not an alcoholic 

THEE trickster: acceptance is the first step to recovery dean 

impala67: i will drown you 

THEE trickster: ;) breathplay 

**_impala67_ ** _has left the chat!_

milligram: excuse u u dont get to skip the funeral

**_milligram_ ** _has invited **impala67** to the chat! _

impala67: THATS IT UR ALL GETTING DROWNED

a literal child: i would liek to do something to comemmortae my blunts passign 

impala67: how about spell correctly 

a literal child: no 

**_a literal child_ ** _has changed **impala67** 's name to **kinkshamer**! _

kinkshamer: h h h hh hh h 

lawboy: hes turning red oh boy

THEE trickster: way to avenge me luci 

a literal child: i'm such a good brother 

kinkshamer: OH SO NOW YOU CAN SPELL 

THEE trickster: no i just took his phone and turned on autocorrect 

kinkshamer: I FUCKING HATE ALL OF YOU 

kinkshamer: ALSO I DO NOT KINKSHAME 

milligram: ur like the prudest prude i know dean u rlly are the kinkshamer 

kinkshamer: ILL HAVE YOU KNOW ADAM YOU DICKFUCK 

kinkshamer: I HAVE KINKS OKAY AND I DO NOT KINKSHAMEEEEEEEE 

THEE trickster: wow enlighten the class dean 

a literal child: at least my son is dead so he won't have to hear this 

lawboy: ur son?? 

a literal child: my blunt 

a literal child: i named him jack 

king of the bees: this is a nightmare. 

kinkshamer: YES IT IS

milligram: get talking kinkshamer 

kinkshamer: um 

a literal child: would now be a good time to bring back my long held belief that dean's a bottom 

kinkshamer: YES SHUT UP 

milligram: ur being awfully defensive there 

THEE trickster: how abt this ill list kinks and u say yes or no so u dont have to say em

a literal child: i wanna do that

milligram: KINK ROUNDTABLE 

milligram: CIRCLE UP YALL 

milligram: MICKEY YOU ARE NOT INVITED 

michael: It's Michael 

milligram: IDC BYE

THEE trickster: wow thats v salty of u adam 

milligram: whatever start listing 

THEE trickster: ummm bondage 

a literal child: down with that 

milligram: sure 

lawboy: idk 

THEE trickster: hells yeah 

king of the bees: i dont know what that is 

a literal child: tying/being tied to the bed during The Do 

lawboy: "The Do"??? 

lawboy: just say sex 

a literal child: horizontal tango 

milligram: doing the nasty 

THEE trickster: joint sessions of congress 

lawboy: GABE 

a literal child: thats a good one 

THEE trickster: LETS NOT FORGET THAT DEAN HASNT ANSWERED 

milligram: dean

milligram: deeeeeeeeeeeeeean 

milligram: deandeandeandean 

milligram: OW

THEE trickster: THE FUCK DID U HIT HIM FOR 

kinkshamer: ALL OF U NEED TO STFU 

kinkshamer: FOREVER 

a literal child: annnnnd michael just punched dean 

a literal child: i didn't even know he could do that

michael: None of you have tried to touch me, so you wouldn't know if I was corporeal or not. 

a literal child: ;)) 

lawboy: no ghostfucking 

a literal child: so ends my ghostfucking fantasies

THEE trickster: :((

THEE trickster: we will be returning to that btw GHOSTFUCKING FANTASIES?? 

a literal child: DONT YOU KINKSHAME ME DONT BE LIKE DEAN 

michael: I'm not even a ghost. 

a literal child: i could make an exception ;) 

milligram: THIS IS THE SECOND DAMN TIME TODAY IVE BEEN HIT IN THE NOSE ARE U FUCKING KIDDING ME 

king of the bees: dean calm down 

kinkshamer: fucking stupid pieces of shit 

kinkshamer: THE FUCK DID U EVEN HIT ME FOR MICHAEL 

michael: You hit Adam 

kinkshamer: ADAM IS AN IRRITATING FUCK WHO DESERVED IT 

king of the bees: michael dont hit him again come on 

a literal child: mike vs dean fight 

THEE trickster: MIKE VS DEAN FIGHT 

milligram: ksfhgr 

THEE trickster: MAN DOWN 

a literal child: MAN OVERBOARD 

lawboy: WE ARE ON DRY LAND 

THEE trickster: oh shit he is *unconscious* 


End file.
